This week we reached another big milestone of entering the third trimester. My belly is getting bigger, it’s becoming harder to get comfortable, and I think I spend more time visiting the bathroom than not. But I’m loving every kick and prod. I love waking up to the physical reminder that I’m growing a life inside of me. It’s becoming real — all of the nursery prep, baby showers, doctor’s appointments, and birthing classes that I thought I might never get to experience.
I am so grateful for this little girl. Every day she’s a reminder to me that God saw my pain. That He counted every tear. All of the days when I thought I couldn’t take one more heartbreak, one more disappointment, or one more pregnancy announcement, He was with me. Baby or not this was always true. But we had a calling to be parents, and we knew He was going to fulfill that in some way. He chose to fulfill our calling as parents through a pregnancy, but I know He would have sustained us in fulfilling that calling in whatever way He had planned for us.
She is our little miracle blessing, our miracle daughter, our miracle pregnancy. When you’re going through infertility you don’t know how or when God is going to send you your miracle, and that’s what makes it so hard. These past six months have taught me that God does still does miracles.
Let me tell you something though: we are nothing special. Our blessing wasn’t delayed because it was difficult for God to do. I know that He has given this miracle to us that He can fulfill your calling as parents too. God isn’t done with you yet.
My fears easily creep in…that this blessing will be taken from us. That this will be the only child we are ever able to have. Those of us who have gone through infertility know that it’s difficult to imagine our prayers being answered. But focusing on those fears would steal the joy of this blessing that God has given to us. I will choose to treasure every special moment my husband and I have as we wait for our little one to arrive.
”Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
For he satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.“
Psalm 107: 8-9